Guest twisted Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase . You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. One mood all the time. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase . You can open all of your own jars. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. Well, its proven, i knew i wasnt normal none of the above apply to me :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 realy ? ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest twisted Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 none of the above apply to me They will when you get older, every single one of them.............trust me. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 ROFLMAO! I always wondered why! MUWHAHAHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 :P There's probably more to that list... but I think that is enough reason Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 none of the above apply to me They will when you get older, every single one of them.............trust me. They rarely do for my people :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 I do all that and some I am a mans MAN :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xyncro Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 .... ..ur amazing twisted... ..u made my day... ..keep 'em comin'.. .. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest twisted Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 OK......heres another one that tore me up. Woman phones in to work and thells the boss she won;t be in today. Boss asks "Why? Whats wrong?" Woman says "I have anal glaucoma" There is a pause..... Boss asks "What the HELL is anal glaucoma?" Woman replies......... "Thats where I can't see my ass comin' in to work today!" ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 lmfao :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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